lost is a feeling

I’m always aware of when my insanity is creeping around the corner. When it does I feel consumed by my rage, and at a loss of all control. In the end it’s my fault for allowing it to consume me, for allowing the waves of emotional abuse to crash into me until I became sand.

99% of the time I feel so utterly destroyed. 1% of the time I feel stupid for allowing myself to feel this way.

Wish my judgement wasn’t clouded in emotions. Wish letting go of the past and feelings would be easier for me. Until then, everything hurts.